The Psychology of Sharing

As a mother of three, I have first hand experience of trying to get kids to learn to share. Most children before the age of five or six do not share willingly. It’s usually, “That’s MINE!” (shriek…hair pull) When my boys were little, (ages 2+ up to age 7) I bought everything in two’s and wrote their names on theirs. They learned to read their name before learning “See Spot Run!”
Many times I was referee of timing how long a child could play with something when there was only one. A timer came in handy. Then it took cajoling to get the possessee to relinquish whatever was being disputed.

When the child learned that he had a good chance of getting back his whatever, he became more cooperative about sharing. Ownership was paramount. A child should never be made to share what is dear. And, even later in life, the possession should never be given away without the child’s permission.

I remember at about age eight, an uncle of mine who worked in a manufacturing plant that made toys gave me a doll carriage for Christmas. It was nearly the size of a real baby carriage. And I prized it greatly. Eventually I outgrew the desire to push it around the neighborhood, but I never stopped liking it intensely, and never stopped thinking it as MINE!! (No I didn’t shriek or pull hair then.)

Imagine my extreme dismay when I returned home from school one day (at about age 14) and learned my mother had given it away! Of course, her mind, and reasoning was, “You haven’t played for it in years. You’re too old for dolls or doll carriages.” My argument was simply, “But, Ma, It’s MINE!!!” And I came close to the shriek. All to no avail.

Fast-forward to 2010. We now have a president who thinks nothing about taking what is MINE!!! Or YOURS!!! And giving it to someone else. It’s called redistributing the wealth. It’s called being fair. (It’s also called stealing, lying, and just downright NOT FAIR.)

The president has now put the country in such a fix economically that our great grandchildren’s toys will already have been given away to today’s children, in the guise of Obamacare, bank bailouts, Government Motors, stimulus plans that take from food stamp programs to give to education programs.

While we tried to teach our children that hard work pays off, today there is no work. And children are seeing that they can get what they want without working. There is a definite lack of respect by the government for personal ownership. It’s “not fair” if you work all your life and expect to retire on Social Security, because other people who haven’t worked, still get a monthly check.

During the Bush administration, Mr. Bush tried to discuss putting Social Security on firmer ground by allowing people to save into a private retirement fund, and cut how much they put into Social Security. These personal retirement funds would be their own money, not absorbed by the government into a black hole that the worker never gets back. But, Mr. Bush was berated off the stage for this, and the idea died. Now the O administration wants people to do both, continue paying into Social Security, AND save for their own retirement, because chances are very high that current workers will not collect anything from Social Security. This is because the O administration thinks what’s YOURS is really THEIRS, and THEY want it to be redistributed around the country for folks who are less inclined to work. The O administration is saying, “What you have is MINE!!!” (shriek, hair pull)!!

I tried to teach my children that when you take something that isn’t yours, without permission and agreement of the owner, it was called stealing. You could go to jail for it. Now you just get elected president.