LOVE MUCH AND FORGIVE ALL!!

As the ball drops to ring in the New Year there will be an empty chair around our extended family’s hearth. On December 30th a sweet lady’s soul winged its way to heaven to forever be with the Lord.

She was called Goldie, but I knew her as Ruth. My children called her Grammy. She was my “Second Mother.” (I always hated the word “step” in bonus families.) She had seven children, and when she married my Dad, they became brothers and sisters to me.

This sweet lady taught me so much about life – and LOVE. And she taught me the importance of forgiveness.


When parents decide to divorce there is excess baggage of anger and bitterness that gets dumped on the children. And if a parent isn’t kind or forgiving, it’s hard for the children to forgive the parents’ faults and mistakes. And my Mom had made a bunch of biggies. And she had a way of repeating them. By the time my husband and I were about to marry Mom was in a “not so nice” stage, and this showed in MY attitude.


One day Ruth told me the most important part of marriage was forgiveness. I said, “He hasn’t done anything wrong yet.” Ruth said, “Not him – your mother. You can’t love and hate at the same time.” I answered back, “But, she won’t even know if I forgive her. She doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong.” Ruth, the wise sage, said, “Your heart will know. And God will know. And He will bless you if you forgive.”


I prayed hard about this, and told God I wanted to forgive my mother. And He gave me the grace to do it. (I had to forgive her many times after this.) And God did bless me and my marriage.


As the ball drops tonight in Time Square, and glasses clink for a toast to the New Year, my mind and heart will be remembering the years past, and the sage advice of a sweet lady: LOVE MUCH AND FORGIVE ALL!! Good words from the past to the future.


Happy New Year!