Observations of a Near-Octogenarian

The following appear to be “rules for older drivers.”

1. When starting your car, be sure to have your foot all the way to the floor on the gas pedal—so you can hear the motor without your hearing aid.


2. Be sure to turn on your directional light immediately—it doesn’t matter which direction. Just let it blink.


3. When backing out of your parking space DO NOT LOOK BACK. This is your right because you are old. (It will help to have lots of insurance.)


4. After you get to the traffic light DO NOT START moving as soon as the green light comes on. Wait about 10-15 seconds. That way, no one else can get through the light.


5. Never drive faster than 35 MPH anywhere. 55, 60, 70 MPH is just too fast. And remember to keep that directional light on. Again, it doesn’t matter which way.


6. When driving at night always slow down to 20 MPH when meeting on-coming traffic. And be sure your directional light is on.


7. When driving at night, always keep your high beams on. You can see better.


8. Always lean forward over the steering wheel. You can see better that way.


9. On multi-lane highways travel in the left lane at 35 MPH with your directional light on—oblivious of all other traffic.


10. When turning off the highway DO NOT USE directional lights.



The above was presented by a guest writer. While it may sound funny to some, with our country’s complete lack of planning and public transportation, most elderly folk have no choice but to “be out there.” Let’s be charitable and watch out for them. Someday, “we” may be “them.”