Bullies, How they Operate, and Why

A lot has been said lately about bullying, of children, of adults, because of a person’s choice of lifestyle, or perceived choice of lifestyle, or for no sound reason at all. As a person who has been subjected to bullying, and had to live through the experience or just die, I would like to address some of these areas.

First of all, there is NO sound reason to bully anyone. There may be “excuses” in a bully’s mind, but no justification.


Starting there, bullies bully as a use of power they have, or want. They choose a person to be their victim who they perceive as weaker than them, who appear to not have a close circle of friends, who may or may not have a strong family around them, or a person who has been taught to “turn the other cheek.” When I was a child and someone called me names, my mother would say, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Sounds good, but not true. A crushed spirit in a child will have a lifetime affect on him/her. Children are taught early to “not hit back.” “Turn the other cheek.” “Just walk away.” All this sounds good, but won’t stop a bully.



Bullied children often turn into bullies. It’s their way of “getting back.” It’s the “I’ve got the power now.” In the last election, the president’s quip to non-worshippers was “We won. Live with it.” That’s a form of bullying.



In today’s society, bullying takes many forms: Bosses who use foul language to “motivate” workers; one racial group intimidating other group, or even the same race, but “different neighborhood;” people who have been convinced by society that “choice of lifestyle” has no consequences, come up against people intimidated by that lifestyle; or conversely that alternate lifestyle jamming it’s choice down the throats of people who are to follow God’s plan for their lives; judges in black robes who have agendas and power; bully the public by their edicts. Presidential Decrees, without vote of Congress that goes against popular opinion is a form of bullying. Congress who votes for a very unpopular policy, which includes more hidden tax agendas than medicine are bullies.


Politicians who can’t take a visible stand to protect life are bullies. Unions who stand against the majority and Constitution are bullies.



It appears that, on earth, the only thing bullies understand is pain. When I was a teenager, my brother was riding the school bus as a first-grader, and a big lump of a girl kept harassing him. He was little, and non-aggressive, and didn’t take up much space on a seat. This lump would push and shove and call him names. After telling the driver that it wasn’t right, and the driver looking bewildered as to how to handle the situation, I told my mother. She gave me that line again about “sticks and stones.” That was no help to my brother. One day when this lump got more and more aggressive, I came up behind her and with all my strength, I brought my 3-ring binder notebook down over her head, driving it down between her shoulders. She whined some. When her eyes cleared, I said, if you touch my brother, or say anything to him again, I will get more books. The bullying stopped.



We can’t all go around clocking people for bullying, but we can intervene. People in authority need to be more vigilant and visible. That bus driver could have done something, but chose not to.



In my mind, and through observations, I have learned that ultimately bullies are cowards, ignorant cowards, from the “lump” on the bus to the bullies in Washington. Coercion is force used, against the other person’s will. The boss who uses foul language: a. because he can get away with it, b. because he is too ignorant to use correct speech with coworkers and people under his “control.” I had a bossman yell at me using foul language because I wasn’t doing something correctly. When I called a halt to his (one-sided) conversation I said, he should clean up his language. I said, if I as not smart enough to learn how to do what he wanted me to do, I would leave. But they weren’t paying me enough money to have to listen to that language. He never did it again, and I worked there over five years.



Bullies bully because they can. A victim is only a victim when they stop fighting back. Sorry Mom.



There was a man who was bullied more than anyone else on earth. His name is Jesus. But He came to earth for his own agenda, to seek and to save. He laid down his life as payment for all our sins, even bullies. When he was tormented and tortured, He spoke not a word. But he had a higher calling, and a higher power. The ultimate fate of those bullies will be worse than the pain they caused by their bullying.



We mortals can only do the best we can. That may be by refusing to be bullied. Or it may be by intervening when you see others being bullied. Ultimately Jesus stepped into the breach for us all—between us and Satan. One day Satan’s bullying will end, and we can all go Home.